(The following is a chapter excerpted and adapted from Ms. Moran’s forthcoming book about Recharge & Renewal^®, entitled Voyage to Greatness.)

When I was developing my Recharge & Renewal^® process, one of my colleagues was struck by the power of it. He said to me, “So many men (in particular) have mortgaged a huge portion of their adult lives in order to take care of others. They’ve set aside their own happiness to provide security and happiness for their families. They’ve been good providers! But what a lot of unhappy men there are out there by the time these guys reach their 50s and 60s!” What my colleague was referring to was what it’s like when individuals stick with the Plan for Survival for most of their lifetime.

Take my associate Michael. He’d been an attorney for 30 years, a sole proprietor with a decent practice, who augmented his income by owning and renting apartment houses. By age 56, Michael was tired of his work, bored with the same old scenarios. He felt his marriage had lost its passion. His wife cared for aging parents, attended to their two teenage sons, and spent a lot of time at the Country Club with her friends. Meanwhile, Michael was petrified of going broke. He worked late every night and went to the office on weekends, squirreling away enough acorns for old age and his family’s every need. The whole foundation of his value system was taking care of family and close friends. But like many Type A personalities, Michael himself had no real hobbies or pursuits outside of work. “Happy” is not a word that comes to mind when I think of Michael.

Michael chose to mortgage his Life Fulfillment. He sold out for security and the needs of others. When counseled to begin taking care of himself, which meant taking time for introspection and then making some lifestyle changes, he balked – not just once, but repeatedly. Michael admitted he was afraid to look deep within himself or make any significant changes which might upset his whole apple cart. He simply wasn’t willing to face that level of change and honesty within himself – at least not yet. He was preoccupied with his Plan for Survival.

Contrast Michael’s story with that of my colleague Rich, a successful executive at an international financial services company. Over the course of Rich’s career, he had worked at several top firms and done well for himself. At one point he was on an extended overseas assignment away from his family, and found himself with time on his hands in the evenings. Wanting to fill the void with something worthwhile, Rich remembered the passion he’d had for art in his college days. So he enrolled in an evening painting course to develop his ability. Not only did he discover that the passion was still there – it turned out he had talent, too!

When I met up with Rich at age 57, here was a person who could see beyond his corporate “retirement” and knew just what he wanted to do! He planned to open a small shop in some sweet locale with friendly people, in a warm climate with great ambiance - and sell his artwork. He didn’t really need the money. What he desired was the fulfillment of selling his art! Rich wanted the Adventure and quality of Life more than anything else. He realized it’s never too late to decide for Life!

Rich’s story illustrates a key principle in the Recharge & Renewal^® for Life process: Development. He was willing to invest time and energy to develop his ideas and abilities, regardless of his age! Later on, Rich returned to the U.S. from his overseas assignment. Rather than give up his new avocation as some might do, Rich disciplined himself to spending one night a week painting while he still held down his full time job. With this new routine in place, he was able to turn out a series of works and continue to develop his artistic ability. He had the drive and discipline to follow through on his destiny. And his art has brought him joy! At 57, Rich definitely is in the Game of Life!

Plan for Survival vs. The Game of Life

As illustrated by Michael and Rich, we each navigate the course of life with a fundamental choice which dictates our state of being at any moment in time. Simply put, we make a choice between falling into the Fear of Survival or Trusting in Abundance and a fundamental knowing that All is Well. The Fear of Survival leads us to Plan for Survival. Trusting in Abundance leads us to the Game of Life!

Let’s consider these two paths to be like AM or FM frequencies on the radio. We’re only on one frequency at a time, but at the flick of a switch, we can go back and forth. People who operate from the belief that there is not enough (or that survival depends on fitting in and being accepted) usually operate on the Survival frequency. For them, the attitude or subliminal self-talk becomes “All is not Well.” In contrast, people who operate from a trusting place (Trusting in Abundance/All is Well) tend to operate from what can be called the Life frequency.

It’s rare to find someone who operates on one frequency all the time. Yet we each have a tendency to choose either the Plan for Survival or the Game of Life, one over the other, based on our own conditioning.

What is the Plan for Survival?

This is the path that we’ve been told by society (and generally speaking, by our families) will lead first and foremost to survival, then to success. The focus of this path is to condition us to become – more or less – a nice, good, appropriate, socially acceptable person.

Your own conditioning up until now may include some or all of the following components of this “plan”:

• A definite mental ideal of how to get ahead in life.
• Listening to your mind and the “should be’s” more than to your heart or gut.
• Following the rules of correct behavior.
• Adhering to the family traditions, which dictate what “a good person” does .
• Following family, church and holiday traditions, despite your deep desire to be or do something different.
• Other Success/Survival rules, including:
• Don’t flaunt. Never say good things about yourself.
• Sacrifice your inner knowing if it overtly conflicts with the group opinion.
• Work hard to get to the top, hang out with the right people, gain entry into the “success club” (whatever that may be in your field), make lots of money, be sure to make the right friends who can provide connections.
• Be in control lest things fall apart. Surrender is weak.
• Don’t make too many waves or be too eccentric, lest people think you are weird or a trouble-maker, and you won’t fit in.
• Authorities know best, so always listen to them.
• Life is serious business. Don’t act foolish.
• Never let them see you sweat too much, or feel too deeply, in public!
• To be open and follow your heart appears weak, thus people will take advantage of you – so don’t.
• Following your personal desires is selfish, and furthermore, will lead you into temptation or evil. You really should put others first.
• Curb your individual expression because after all, “We don’t do that around here.”
• Truth should be muted so as not to hurt anyone else’s feelings.

How’s that for starters?

What is the Game of Life?

The Game of Life is Following the Adventure to fulfill your destiny. It is about living your life in full expression while connected to your intuitive listening, your judgment, your conscience – and following that guidance!

Life says, “You have an individual expression that is to come through you in this life. Keep your heart open, and allow others their expression. But above all, honor your own knowing, your individual path, and speak your truth so that you will know freedom. Fulfillment is yours if you have the wisdom to listen to your conscience, follow what it says to do, manifest your gifts, and do so with joy and love.” This is by no means a frivolous path where you wander willy nilly at whim. It has purpose and direction.

For example, Lifesays:

• Learn as much as you can. Challenges are brought to you for your learning.
• Have FUN – as in “Full Use of Now.”
• Be prepared, but stay flexible and spontaneous so you can respond in the moment and take advantage of unexpected opportunities that come your way.
• Trust yourself and your ”intuitive knowing.”
• Don’t give over your authority to others.
• Have the courage to be the first one with a new idea.
• Develop endurance, and go the distance with your ideas.
• In conflict, keep your heart open and stay in the kitchen, endure the heat!
• Find balance. Make time for relaxation. Renew yourself in the silence.
• When you don’t know, develop trust and go into discovery.
• Let your Conscience be your guide.
• Be grateful for everything that’s come your way. It’s all part of the Adventure and there for your full use and learning.

Life says, “Challenge the traditions lest they hold you back from learning and discovering more joy and abundance.” Life also says, “Don’t be stopped by your fears, for the courage that you seek is not the absence of fear, but moving forward despite your fear.”

Rather than following the age old rules or teachings, Life says “Seek the truth and work from principles.”

On the following page is a chart which contrasts the difference in attitudes and behaviors between the paths of Survival and Life. Take a moment now to review this list, then check off items that describe how you tend to operate most of the time. 

For those boxes you checked on the Survival side of the chart, ask yourself, “What would have to change for me to operate on the Life frequency in this area?” Then commit yourself to taking one or more steps in the direction of your answer. You might test out a new approach, speak up where before you have held back, talk to a trusted friend or colleague about the item you checked, and ask for their assistance in that focus area.

Don’t be surprised if you begin to discover more joy, greater freedom and ease coming to you in areas where you have felt constrained or unhappy.

Remember, L.I.F.E. means living in full expression. You will have a much easier time finding your direction and fulfillment on your Voyage to Greatness if you learn to keep your radio tuned to the Life frequency!

Survival vs. Life

Survival	Life
Striving for success by society’s standards	Discovering your gifts; developing your areas of greatness
People-pleasing; wanting to fit in with the group	Expressing your individuality
Following the traditions; conforming	Discovering your desires and what Life has to offer you on your path
Denying your own needs and desires for the sake of others’ needs or preferences	Acknowledging and following your desires to your destiny
Staleness, drudgery, boredom	Adventure, change, seeing things new
Sticking to the plan	Allowing for spontaneity and intuition
Draining of your energy; putting out	Charging of your energy; pulling in
Making excuses, rationalizing, procrastinating, saying “I can’t”	“I Can” attitude backed by doing
Avoiding conflict	Willing to “take the heat”
Worrying and projecting	Trusting that All Is Well
Working from a set plan	Using preparation as a springboard to life’s opportunities
Operating from the mind	Expressing from the heart and intuition
Incremental growth, cautious change	Accelerated learning, embracing change

^® 2004 Marie Moran

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